I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
