Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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