my room smells like sperm. sweet.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
