Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize