If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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