Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
