you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Randomize
