After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
