Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
