I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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