So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize