I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
