"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
