Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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