Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
