I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
