wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
