I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
