i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize