it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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