Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
