My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
