You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
