Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Small penises have feelings too.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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