I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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