I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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