I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
how drunk are you?
Several
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
