i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
