Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
