I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
