I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
