my phone needs a breathalizer
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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