Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
