I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
