she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
