talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I am spending my child support on dildos
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
