Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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