my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
