Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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