We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize