I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize