Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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