Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
