I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
