I don't think brook has ever known best
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
