You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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