My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
