Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
is wine microwaveable?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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