two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We need to rekindle our bromance
the day after is always just damage control
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
