we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
