i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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