so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Randomize
