I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't deserve a penis
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
