i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
