in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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