Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
