I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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