If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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