I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize