eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
