:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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