I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
