why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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