party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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