did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
