You're a womanizer and a bitch.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize