its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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