He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
