bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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